Where we are born is not who we are But it shapes who we become. Whether we embrace or attempt to escape - there is no undoing the circumstance of birth. We are plopped on this earth, exactly where we are supposed to land - in order for us to become, who we are meant to be. The reality of location and the fantasy of aspiration.
Tag Archives: Poetry
The Very Last Piece
What will you give Him? What is the thing you love most in this world? What is the object, the person, the corporation, the "thing?" That thing, that MacGuffin, that is the last thing you have to lay down. It should be the first, but, it is usually the last. Why that thing, you ask? Because it is the last, the very last barrier between your heart and His. What has He ever given you, you ask? He has given you Everything - He has given you Jesus. He has given you Himself. The least we can do in return - the very least, is give Him all of us....every last morsel. Even that bit we've been holding back, saying - "Yes - you can have it all... except "This."" "This"... is exactly the last of the currency. But fear not, for the rate of exchange is priceless. You give Him the very last piece of your human heart, and He gives you Eternity.
Why Do We Write?
Why do take up our proverbial pen and write? Why do we take the time and make the effort to share our thoughts and feelings and lessons learned? Perhaps for the same reasons that generations before us did. We are compelled. Words spill out of us and onto the page, liquid puddles of letters that become words that turn into sentences that form complex thoughts and emotions, that leap from the page and into the mind of our reader who is perhaps contemporary, perhaps generations ahead of us, but who all say, "I understand what you mean." Writing is a form of time travel. A message from one kindred spirit to another. Between the lines we say, "I've been here before, just as you are here now. I survived, and so shall you." And our recipient, who may not yet even be born, closes their eyes and sighs, reassured that life will go on. And that, I think, is why we write.
A Work of Truth
Acting has been called a liar's profession - But I would disagree. If done well, if done right, it is a work of truth, of honesty, and of empathy. Actors are evangelist of story, they bring people, and places, and feelings back to life - or create life. They break through bricks of stagnant emotion, shining a light from their beacon of truth into whatever cracks and crevices need to be exposed. Acting, good acting, shows the best and worst of us, and illuminates the path to change.
February 9th
What does it really mean to live by the verse, "All things work together for good"? It means on certain days, days like today - you turn on the projector of your life, and you allow it to run - clipping along with images of past people, conversations, & events. You relive choices you made, paths you didn't take, for reasons of logic, or fear, or cowardice. And you reflect. You get down in the mire and think as the projector whirs along, inanimate & efficient. You review it all - the good and the bad. Your eyes never close, and your head never turns. Then the whap, whap, whap of the last reel let's you know that you've caught up to "now." And you understand. Truly understand. The mistakes, the victories, the heartbreak, the hope - all have led you to right here, and right now. They have created the essence of you. The "sadder, but wiser" yet simultaneously, the "blessed and highly favored" version of you. You also see the hand of God at work. The guidance, the gentle nudging, the course correcting, and protecting. You have true hindsight, and realize you are seeing your past the way God sees your entire lifeline. We are the sum of our choices, but God sees where each choice will lead, and how He can orchestrate it for our good. However, like the benevolent parent He is, good does not always equate happy. It just means for our benefit. And knowing His sovereignty, no matter how you muddle the circumstance, is the best way I've found to live by the verse, "All things work together for good."
All Well & Good
It is all well & good to have faith when the sun shines. It's effortless to believe in God's promises when Life is your friend. But at some point - there will be darkness, we know not when or how. But when it does arrive, for it always arrives, that is where faith is truly stretched & tested. It will be an inaudible whisper, tugging at the back of your mind... "Did God reallllly say...." The first lie, the oldest lie, uttered in staggering confidence by the original gaslighter. That kind of Darkness loves nothing more than the company of your mind. Your doubts are sweeter than any flower's nectar, fueling his very life force. I am here to remind you, and also me, yes, He really did say. And so, when the voice comes - an enchanting whisper in the Darkness, Steady your shaky hands, strengthen your resolve. Then answer with a bold & self-assured voice: "It may be Dark right now, but Light is coming. It is all well & good." And it is.
Sunrise/Sunset
If a sunrise is a whisper, a gentle promise of the day that will be - Then sunsets are a Jubilation! of the promise that was kept. Each morning, the inky darkness is slowly invaded by pale yellow and pink and just a hint of orange. They appear together, breathless and ready to relieve the darkness. A fresh, clean slate firmly in hand. If you look close enough, you can just make out the writing on the edge of the slate: "Today can be whatever you decide it will be." And then we go on, living our lives, making choices - some good, some bad, but none insignificant. Because at the end of the day, the bold streaks of orange and red, and magenta burst across the horizon, shouting in nature's language, "We have done it!" Another day is complete. And then, the darkness arrives, and the Sunset prepares, by handing the slate over to be cleaned once again. Sunrises promise to appear, and Sunsets promise to celebrate - it is up to us what we do with the in-between.
Writer’s Block
Writer's Block feels like standing in the middle of a wood, where a thousand paths diverge all around. You can't see past the initial idea, and if you choose one, you may turn yourself around, and end up down another - the beginning & the end making a strange chimera of ideas. I suppose the point is, I have much to say, but not the words to complete them. Maybe another day. The important thing is that I showed up to the woods today, and entered in.
“Eh!”
I have a cat, he's a very sweet cat Henry is his name. He never causes trouble, he never even meows. Just a teeny, tiny "Eh!" is all he ever says. That is, unless he's on his way to the vet, and then the yowling comes deep from his soul, and cuts through my heart. But, this is not about his yowl, this is about his teeny, tiny "Eh!" When caught in an everyday moment of distress. I have another cat, he's a very...different cat Rooney is his name. He was found outdoors, malnourished and alone. We took him in but, he's not used to cats. He doesn't know how to BE a cat. He's learning to play, and even to cuddle, but he just doesn't GET that other cats are his friends. Especially Henry. Henry loves everyone. But Rooney does not love everyone. Nearly every day, Rooney chases Henry, and not in the fun way, and then Rooney gets in trouble. I say his name, and he looks sheepish, "I've done it again." This last time, I was fixing dinner, and I heard that teeny, tiny, "Eh!" and I spun around. Rooney was ready to pounce. I said his name (with LOTS of authority) and he ran off. Henry looked at me, grateful. Then I realized, Henry hadn't shouted, he hadn't yowled, or panicked, he just quietly said, "Eh!" and trusted that I would hear him, and fix the problem. And I did. And then I realized - This applies to me, too. It doesn't take shouting, it doesn't take panic, It just takes trusting that the One who can solve my problems is always, ALWAYS, listening. May we all have the faith of Henry.
The Pain Game
When I'm in pain, the physical kind of pain, the "Sweet Lord Jesus deliver me" kind of pain I like to play a game. It's not really a game, it's just a way to occupy my brain in the depths of that pain. Perspective, if you will. I ask myself, "Would you rather?" as in, "Would you rather be in THIS kind of pain?" and I focus... OR and then I think of a comparable pain I've clearly lived through, and say "Or THAT kind of pain?" and then I remember... And then I decide which pain I prefer. That's the end of the game, but while I'm busy deciding, the pain is subsiding. And that's what I'm thinking of today. (P.S. I'm really okay. I've been having my foot worked on and today was a treatment. The most pain is during treatment. I've lived through it before, and Ibuprofen is a gift from the Lord)
Ashley Raymer-Brown 