35 Days to 35: Joy Comes in the Morning (6 More Days)

“…Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.” – Psalms 30:5

I went to bed with a book, a some furry people and a Hershey bar. I fell asleep around midnight and slept fitfully, waking around 6:30 a.m. I tried to go back to sleep, but when I was problem solving in my head about the day to come, I knew it was no use.

I decided to make the best of it by cooking a nice breakfast and photographing the sunrise. I sat in front of the glass door facing the rear of the property with a cat on each side and snapped photos every few minutes.

I like the above image. Though fashionably late, the sun teases me with his presence. A promise of the day to come, and the certainty of a fresh start. I certainly need the fresh start.
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35 Days to 35: Ten Steps Back (7 more days)

I’m not even sure I know how to explain how I feel. I took the above image a few days ago, but I feel like it rings true for me right now. In a small way, I know what that tree feels like. It spent years growing out a beautiful limb, only to have it hacked off at the trunk.

One step forward, ten steps back.

I’m better now, that much I can tell you, and while the heartbreak is familiar, it just doesn’t seem to get easier to bear.

After weeks of work, and the past two days filled with such tediousness I couldn’t even bear to tell you about, I finished everything I could do on my own for the book. All that was left was a citation page that Jillian had agreed to help with, and a tweak for the cover that my friend Josh was going to try and help me with this weekend.

All of a sudden, things were not only on track, they were ahead of schedule. The book looked beautiful. I was incredibly proud. I couldn’t believe it.

I should have known. The very book I’m editing is filled with so many examples of this very thing. When attempting to fix the formatting of the drop caps, Jillian said, “I can’t believe there’s not an easier way.”

I said, “Jillian. You just read the book. When I’m involved, there’s NEVER an easier way.” We shared a nice laugh.

I should have known.
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35 Days to 35: Even Farm Dogs Get Cold (8 more days)

Day Four of being snowed in the house.

I didn’t even bother to get out of pajamas. The day was spent, as per usual, in front of the computer making book revisions with furry supervisors, candy, and copious amounts of water, hot tea, and Dr. Pepper. (Liquid of champions).

Around 5:30 p.m., I decided I needed a break. The mail hadn’t been collected, so I spent five minutes suiting up in order to fetch it. The end result was that I looked more like Randy in “A Christmas Story” than I care to admit.

I waddled down toward the driveway, wind stinging my eyes and crystalizing the tears that involuntarily welled up. I passed the garage where my car is securely stuck, and walked on down the driveway, drifts reaching up to my knees at some points. Finally making it to the mailbox, I opened it like a pirate finding his treasure chest. Oh! The battle it took to make it here! Oh the riches that undoubtedly awaited!

It was empty.

“Figures.” I thought, and trudged/waddled back up the driveway. The chickens had obviously not been let out today, so I needed to get them food before dark. Back at the house, I opened the front door and let out an exuberant Riley. He began his sprint toward the chicken coop.

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Only, today, he got stuck.

The snow was legitimately more than he could jump over. I did not feel that bode well for me and my analogy from yesterday. He made it to the shelter of the chicken coop and waited for me while I fed them.

When I left, he just stood there, shivering. I told him, “You have to make it! I told everyone on the Internet that you were Farm Dog!”

He looked at me, probably thinking, “Just pick me up and I WILL make it. Even Farm Dogs get COLD.”

So I did.

I carried him back until the snow levels got lower. I set him down when he could make it and he sprinted happily toward the house, waiting for me at the door.

If I wanted to get analogous, I’d say that sometimes we need to let our Owner carry us over the rough patches until we reach the safety of home.

Or I could just straight up say, “Stay inside! It’s cold!!”

Both are true. 🙂

P.S. Riley has the perfect outline of Abe Lincoln on his right side. I think it shows up quite nicely in the featured image.


Right at 35 days before my 35th birthday, Rachael and I found out that a book we wrote about our experience making our first film “No Lost Cause,” was being returned to us by the publisher after a year of waiting for it to be printed. Instead of wallowing in our collective misery, I committed to blogging every day while I searched for ways to overcome this perceived rejection and obstacle to our goal. I currently also have about three other projects brewing at the same time, and write about the progress of each of them. This is part of that series.

Read the first entry here: https://ashleyraymerbrown.com/2015/01/23/35-days-to-35-dealing-with-rejection/

35 Days to 35: Farm Dog (9 more days)

My dog Riley is not a six pound Pom-Chi. Oh, he may look that way on the surface, but in his heart, he is a German Shepherd, or a Collie, or even possibly a Mastiff. Whatever the breed, he desperately believes himself to be a Farm Dog.

As any good Farm Dog would, he LOVES the snow. If the temperature is any kind of bearable, he wants to be outside. Sniffing, shuffling, checking on the chickens, surveying his land.

In truth, his actual favorite thing to do is for me to go outside with him. When I do, he likes to get as far away in the field as possible and then wait for me to call him. I know this. I know what my role is and I fulfull it for him. He is the star of his own action movie, and I’m the director. When he’s far enough away, I whistle and call him back.

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“ACTION!”
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35 Days to 35: 10 more days

TEN DAYS.

I only have ten days until my birthday/book deadline.  Jillian and I were originally supposed to meet today so I could pick up the book and we could discuss the revisions, BUT winter has once again taken Kentucky by surprise.

You see, every year it snows, and every year Kentucky officials go “Huh? What’s this white stuff? What should we do?? WE’RE NOT READY!!!”

Then everyone in the world goes to the grocery to buy milk, bread, and eggs. To make french toast. I guess. Yesterday, people were posting pictures of empty bread shelves at our local Kroger by 5pm and it didn’t start snowing until midnight. I really hesitate to think what will happen when the BIG one hits. Whatever the BIG one is.

All snark aside, in their defense, there IS more snow than usual this year. A state of emergency has officially been declared. Unless absolutely necessary, we’re being asked not to leave our homes. This won’t be difficult for me as the driveway is completely covered thanks to a nice drift.

The roof of the porch is groaning under the strain of almost a foot of snow, and my dog Riley, who LOVES snow and spends all day running in and out, went outside, looked around at the landscape, looked back up at me, uttered a silent “NOPE” and trotted back in.

Thankfully, the snow was light and fluffy instead of angry and heavy. With the snow in such a good mood, nothing weighed down the wires and the electricity stayed on.

Hooray! Because seriously, being snowed in with NO ability to work on my book could have been real state of emergency. I spent the afternoon revising/obsessing over the book cover. Two professionals were kind enough to give me their feedback, and I absorbed all their revisions and tried again.

I ended up designing about five alternate covers. I’m not going to post them here, because I’m still not quite happy with them. Thankfully, a friend of mine helped me focus my obsession in a positive way, and I now know what might be missing.

One step closer, friends. One step closer.


Right at 35 days before my 35th birthday, Rachael and I found out that a book we wrote about our experience making our first film “No Lost Cause,” was being returned to us by the publisher after a year of waiting for it to be printed. Instead of wallowing in our collective misery, I committed to blogging every day while I searched for ways to overcome this perceived rejection and obstacle to our goal. I currently also have about three other projects brewing at the same time, and write about the progress of each of them. This is part of that series.

Read the first entry here: https://ashleyraymerbrown.com/2015/01/23/35-days-to-35-dealing-with-rejection/

35 Days to 35: Ye Olde Nemesis

It was today. Of course it was today. Today, the day after the national celebration of love, Rachael and I came face to face with our greatest enemy.

The air was palpable with tension. He (for it must be a him) tipped his hat, narrowed his eyes Clint Eastwood style and grinned at us, white teeth gleaming. He stood there, old west style, challenging us to come out to meet him.

We cowered for a moment, remembering all the havoc, all the tears, all the pain he had caused us in the past. And yet, we rose out of the corner and strode into the sun, blinking, but ready for the challenge.

It was him. Our old nemesis Audio.
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35 Days to 35: Love is Complicated

Today I spent the day in love. Well, sort of. I mean…It’s Complicated.

Ohhhhh…I can already tell the jokes are never going to get old. 🙂

While the book is away being read over by Jillian, I decided to spend my time working on the poster design for our community theatre show, It’s Complicated: An Evening of One Acts About Life, Love and Other Important Things. I’ve written about the origin of the title before, (https://ashleyraymerbrown.com/2015/01/29/35-days-to-35-its-complicated/) so now I’ll tell you the story behind the poster.
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35 Days to 35: Have book, will travel

Turned in the book this morning to Jillian, copy editor extraordinaire. She is one of the major forces behind the copy editing/proofing of my Mom’s book, “One Life” (which continues to get rave reviews, to all our delight). She’s already contacted me about some minor details she’s noticed, so I’m confident I’m in very good, very meticulous hands.

While she is busy working on the final draft I thought maybe I’d put out some feelers for people/places that might be interested in our book once it DOES come out. Very interested, mildly interested, nothing better to do interested, I’m really not picky.
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35 Days to 35: Life advice from Meg Ryan

In the ‘no news is good news’ category, I don’t have much to report today. Completed reading the book, added a few names to the acknowledgment section and had to think about what to add to ‘the future’ part. As in, what do I have planned for the future. I won’t give it away, but I think I’ve got some ambitious things lined up; because that’s just how I operate.

I actually toyed a bit with the idea of adding an epilogue about our issues with the publisher. I don’t suppose they were issues so much as it was a separation of interests. It does go right along with the actual theme of our book, in that we ended up having to do things the long and hard way. Ultimately, I also feel it ended up being the right way for us, and things worked out better, and for the best, for all involved. That was the pro of including an epilogue.
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35 Days to 35: Why so serious?

Today, my goal was to spend a nice, leisurely day rereading the book, in one sitting, from beginning to end. I wanted to update all my sections and make sure the whole piece flowed. I turned on the instrumental movie score station on Pandora to allow Hans Zimmer the opportunity to give me some auditory company, and my furry supervisors soon took up their various posts.

I made it to the second to last chapter of the 168 pages before I had to leave for rehearsal. I have to say, more often than not, I was actually very satisfied with the content. It’s now been nearly fourteen months since I finished the final draft, and while the distance had been good for some real clarity and perspective, my memory of it wasn’t as positive as the content actually ended up being.
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