35 Days to 35: We have an E-Book! (Today is my birthday!)

After the triumph of last night, I could barely sleep! I woke up this morning early, and laid there for a few minutes, thanking God for making the deadline. My grumbling tummy forced me to get up and make breakfast before I went to work on the e-book. I had sausage, eggs, Dr. Pepper and thin mints.

Because it’s my birthday. 😀

Since this journey just isn’t a journey unless something goes screwy, the e-book took about three tries before I got the margins presentable, and the photos where they should be. I re-watched “Bringing Up Baby” to keep me company.

I think that the indention on the paragraphs is too far, but, I’m sorry, I just didn’t know how in the world to fix them. So I submitted it. It said it could take up to 12 hours to appear on the site, but as I sat down to write this entry (about three hours later) it appeared!

I can now officially say that I completely made my deadline of publishing this book by my birthday. It went from rejection to publication in 35 grueling days. When I committed to blogging about this process, I had no idea what I would talk about every day, or if anyone would be interested in reading. How wrong I was on both counts! The support from friends, new and old, has been incredible!

I’m a Pisces, so now we’re going to get to the inevitable sentimental part of the story. I think back to what my life was like 10 years ago, and it is staggering the amount of changes that have taken place.

In February of 2005, I was still trudging through college, one class per semester at a time. I had just been asked my one of my instructors to make a list of my ’10 year goals’. Ten years seemed like an eternity away. I don’t remember everything I wrote down, but I know the top three were:

3. Write/ act on stage
2. Act in a Movie
1. Write a book

At the time, I was also in rehearsals for my very first Coffee House at my local community theatre. I had written a show, and it was the first time one of my works was really seen by a large audience.  I had a good job, great friends, and a theatre I loved more than anything. But my life was very small. I don’t say that with a trace of snark or meanness. It was lived in a 16 mile radius of work, home, theatre. And it was a very good life. So I thought.

Then, three years later, in May of 2008, I lost everything. I mean that in a very ‘first world’ sort of way. After reaching the pinnacle of my career at my beloved theatre, things spiraled out of control very quickly. My very, very, very best friend in the world decided she no longer wanted to be my best friend. I lost the job I had held for 8 years, and I had a earth-shattering break with my theatre home.

No, I’m not going to name any of them, or divulge details. That is not the point of this. The point of this is to say that I was beyond heartbroken. So much so that I almost immediately came down with a combination of mono and strep throat. I felt, emotionally and physically, like the world was ending.

But it didn’t.

I can say whole-heartedly, that God was moving. It was in May of 2008 that my friendship with Rachael and Candy began. That summer, I went outside of my comfort zone to another theatre in another town, and met a group of wonderful, kind, and giving people, two of which (Hannah and Tim) would end up becoming a huge part of my life. That fall, I created a traveling theatre group with Rachael and Brian and we were active for a couple years. This is how I met Ben, who has also become a significant person in my life.

Because of Rachael, in 2009, I had my first part as an extra on a movie set, and a year later, in 2010, I was hired as a Production Assistant, where I met Tyler. It was with the money I earned that summer that Rachael and I pooled our resources and began the “No Lost Cause” journey.

We all know what happened then. Or at least, you will if you read the book! 😉

That is a very truncated way to tell you that Life, for me, has never, ever been easy or simple or uncomplicated. Every time things seemed to be looking up (We got book publication!) the bottom would drop out. (Never mind!)

But you know what? With every change, my world kept expanding. After having a life long irrational fear of flying, I had to fly in a plane to get to my first film festival. There, I met Joel, the man who would distribute my first film, and open my life up on a world-wide scale.

Because of him, I came home and made another movie. I wrote and directed and played the lead role. One of my pivotal scenes needed a high school, where I met Russell (and then Jill) who have taken me in with open arms and given me a theatre to call my home. I started this blog as a way to bring awareness to our films and projects, and I’ve ended up making new friends in other countries! (Hi Josephine and James!)

People have floated into my life at just the right moments, and in just the right way to help me through a particular time or experience. (Kristen, your compassion during the days of Sammy and Deana will never be forgotten.) Some of them floated back out, but others have stayed and taken root.

I’m sure I’m telling all this very badly, because I’m on a semi-cloud of happiness, and I tend to write better when I’m morose. I’m saying all the above to say this. If you read this hot mess of a series from the beginning, you know that I did not reach this goal because I’m particularly smart (in fact, had I been a bit smarter, I probably could have done this faster!) I’m not tech savvy, or arrogant enough to think I could do it on my own.  I asked for help when and where I needed it,(Rachael, Jillian and Josh!!!) and I cried when I didn’t think things were moving fast enough or the right way. (Thank you, Mom and Nancye for the endless encouragement).

But I never gave up. I can’t believe how similar the process of actually printing this book has been to the process of making the film. Spoiler alert. We made a movie almost the exact same way as I got this book printed. We never, ever, ever gave up and we pressed on until we reached our goal.

Was it easy? No, but nothing really worth having ever is.

So to you, my friends and readers I say: If there is anything, anything, that is weighing on your heart right now, that you want to do, but are scared of….do it. Please do it. If things turn out badly, or they don’t turn out the way you think they should, keep going. Keep working. If your life falls apart, maybe it’s what needs to happen before you can really have a break through. It was for me. Heartbreak was the catalyst that catapulted my life into another dimension. One that I love more than anything.

Now, I sure don’t want to relive the heartbreak, but I can say that I’m very, very grateful that it happened. It won’t be the last one, I’m certain of that, but I know enough now to trust that God is working it all out for my good. (Rom. 8:28).

It has taken me ten years, but today, I finally get to mark off my number one life goal.

I wrote a book.

If I can do it, I’m really, really certain that you can too.


http://www.amazon.com/Why-Not-Philosophy-Learned-Raptors-ebook/dp/B00U1M2QKO/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1424977605&sr=8-1&keywords=ashley+raymer-brown


Right at 35 days before my 35th birthday, Rachael and I found out that a book we wrote about our experience making our first film “No Lost Cause,” was being returned to us by the publisher after a year of waiting for it to be printed. Instead of wallowing in our collective misery, I committed to blogging every day while I searched for ways to overcome this perceived rejection and obstacle to our goal. I currently also have about three other projects brewing at the same time, and write about the progress of each of them. This is the final entry in that series.

Read the first entry here: https://ashleyraymerbrown.com/2015/01/23/35-days-to-35-dealing-with-rejection/

35 Days to 35: The Last Gift (1 more day)

Today is my last day as a girl in her ‘early thirties’ and it promised to be a long one. It’s also one of my six toilet days, so after the alarm went off at 6:00 a.m., I immediately grabbed my phone to see if the review process had been completed yet. I had gotten an email at 1 a.m. inviting me to proof my book again.

I knew I needed to get ready for work, but I REALLY wanted to go submit the book. I hurried through my shower and breakfast in order to submit it before I had to leave. The cover looked GREAT. Nothing was cut off, and I quickly flipped through the other pages to make sure they were all still okay. They were.

I submitted the book with more glee than I care to reenact at this time. I was then directed to the Kindle page, where I had to fill out a bunch of information and was again informed that even the e-book wouldn’t be an instant process.

Fearing I’d be late for work, I closed the file and vowed to finish up tonight.

Throughout the day, I kept checking the Amazon site to see if they had posted the paperback book yet. Even though they said it could take up to 3-5 days, that doesn’t mean it couldn’t be done earlier? Right?

It wasn’t.

Mid-way through the work day, I began to feel sneezy/yucky. I decided it was probably stress (from what, I can’t imagine) and I decided that right after I finished uploading the e-book tonight, I should turn in early and actually get some rest.
………..
Let’s all share a quiet chuckle together, shall we?
……….
I submitted the e-book, and when it came time to preview, some of the photos showed up, while the others just had a giant red X instead of a cute dinosaur. I noticed it was only my Mom’s illustrations.

I texted Rachael, who asked:

“Are they all in .jpg format?”
“Of course! I made sure of that! Why would it be incorrect in the e-book format if it worked in the paperback format?”

(We all know why. Because why. not.)

“Hmmm..that doesn’t make sense. Double check.”

So I did.

They weren’t in .jpg format.

I had accidentally saved the photoshop files instead. So I flattened them, uploaded the book and previewed it again.

Now the margins were off on my quotes. I sent it to a couple friends, one who assured me it was fine, another who said it was definitely off-putting.

😦

As I was waiting for various things to upload, and to hear back from texts telling me if the margins looked okay, I decided to begin this blog. I’ve been writing it off and on for about an hour now. I got halfway through and noticed that it was 9:45 p.m.

I sighed. Way too late to get an ‘early’ night sleep. I decided to finish this blog and work on the e-book tomorrow. Before I shut down the work computer, I refreshed the Amazon page…

It’s there.

The e-book may not be done, but the paperback is online. It counts.

I made it. The last gift of my 34th year is that I made it. I made the deadline. With one day to spare.

I sat silently for a few minutes, thanking God for the phenomenal feeling of accomplishment. I also may or may not have cried a little.

Friends, for those of you who have followed me through this journey, I thank you. If you could, please do me the gigantic favor of visiting my Amazon page.  Even if you don’t buy the book (but I’d really like it if you did!) bask in the glow with me of knowing that within 35 days, my book went from cancelled to published.

Lest this ‘published author’ become too prideful, Henry came up to me, meowed, and promptly sneezed on my leg.

Somehow, that’s so fitting for this triumphant moment.

😀

http://www.amazon.com/Why-Not-Philosophy-Learned-Raptors/dp/1508557004/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1424912517&sr=8-1&keywords=ashley+raymer-brown


Right at 35 days before my 35th birthday, Rachael and I found out that a book we wrote about our experience making our first film “No Lost Cause,” was being returned to us by the publisher after a year of waiting for it to be printed. Instead of wallowing in our collective misery, I committed to blogging every day while I searched for ways to overcome this perceived rejection and obstacle to our goal. I currently also have about three other projects brewing at the same time, and write about the progress of each of them. This is part of that series.

Read the first entry here: https://ashleyraymerbrown.com/2015/01/23/35-days-to-35-dealing-with-rejection/

35 Days to 35: Say it with me…. (2 more days)

…..why not.

My book file came back with a few errors. The Create Space team ‘suggested’ I add a blank page to the beginning of my book and re-upload. For reasons. Because why not. From everything I can tell, it is not an essential change.

So, I am choosing not to follow this advice, because I know the way this goes. If I risk re-uploading, there is a nearly 100% chance of further errors, and I’m just ready to be done.
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35 Days to 35: Wait…what? (3 more days)

The cover design and upload went so well it was alarming. So when the power surged and my computer shut itself off in the middle of my work (despite being backed up by a surge protector whose sole job it is to prevent such a thing) I actually sighed in relief. “Okay. Whew…there’s the screw-up for today.”  However, Murphy’s Law is late today, because the upload had completed prior to shutting down.

Once I finished uploading the material,  I began filling out the Create Space Amazon store requirements. I had to choose a price, fill out the description, write a bio and choose my publishing category and key search words.

If you think that didn’t cause some anxiety, then you haven’t been reading this blog on the regular, have you?  😉
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35 Days to 35: Josh’s White Horse (4 more days)

The last design element needed for the book is the cover. I designed one Super Bowl weekend that I liked a lot, but after previewing it on here, I got some good critiques from several sources who design for a living.

The cover is the first impression, and it truly can make a difference, so the important thing for me when reading their critiques was not to be so in love with my own design that I refused to allow improvements.

After listening to their feedback, I designed a new cover, and shared it with a few friends. The agreed it was an improvement, but it still wasn’t quite right.
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35 Days to 35: Rachael & Jillian’s White Horse (5 more days)

Worried I was dangerously near the precipice of another major league breakdown, Rachael came riding in on her white horse that looks a lot like a bright blue Nissan.

Waiting out the ice storm that amounted to much less than forecast, she arrived after Noon today, and left about an hour ago.
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35 Days to 35: Joy Comes in the Morning (6 More Days)

“…Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning.” – Psalms 30:5

I went to bed with a book, a some furry people and a Hershey bar. I fell asleep around midnight and slept fitfully, waking around 6:30 a.m. I tried to go back to sleep, but when I was problem solving in my head about the day to come, I knew it was no use.

I decided to make the best of it by cooking a nice breakfast and photographing the sunrise. I sat in front of the glass door facing the rear of the property with a cat on each side and snapped photos every few minutes.

I like the above image. Though fashionably late, the sun teases me with his presence. A promise of the day to come, and the certainty of a fresh start. I certainly need the fresh start.
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35 Days to 35: Ten Steps Back (7 more days)

I’m not even sure I know how to explain how I feel. I took the above image a few days ago, but I feel like it rings true for me right now. In a small way, I know what that tree feels like. It spent years growing out a beautiful limb, only to have it hacked off at the trunk.

One step forward, ten steps back.

I’m better now, that much I can tell you, and while the heartbreak is familiar, it just doesn’t seem to get easier to bear.

After weeks of work, and the past two days filled with such tediousness I couldn’t even bear to tell you about, I finished everything I could do on my own for the book. All that was left was a citation page that Jillian had agreed to help with, and a tweak for the cover that my friend Josh was going to try and help me with this weekend.

All of a sudden, things were not only on track, they were ahead of schedule. The book looked beautiful. I was incredibly proud. I couldn’t believe it.

I should have known. The very book I’m editing is filled with so many examples of this very thing. When attempting to fix the formatting of the drop caps, Jillian said, “I can’t believe there’s not an easier way.”

I said, “Jillian. You just read the book. When I’m involved, there’s NEVER an easier way.” We shared a nice laugh.

I should have known.
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35 Days to 35: Even Farm Dogs Get Cold (8 more days)

Day Four of being snowed in the house.

I didn’t even bother to get out of pajamas. The day was spent, as per usual, in front of the computer making book revisions with furry supervisors, candy, and copious amounts of water, hot tea, and Dr. Pepper. (Liquid of champions).

Around 5:30 p.m., I decided I needed a break. The mail hadn’t been collected, so I spent five minutes suiting up in order to fetch it. The end result was that I looked more like Randy in “A Christmas Story” than I care to admit.

I waddled down toward the driveway, wind stinging my eyes and crystalizing the tears that involuntarily welled up. I passed the garage where my car is securely stuck, and walked on down the driveway, drifts reaching up to my knees at some points. Finally making it to the mailbox, I opened it like a pirate finding his treasure chest. Oh! The battle it took to make it here! Oh the riches that undoubtedly awaited!

It was empty.

“Figures.” I thought, and trudged/waddled back up the driveway. The chickens had obviously not been let out today, so I needed to get them food before dark. Back at the house, I opened the front door and let out an exuberant Riley. He began his sprint toward the chicken coop.

IMG_9789

Only, today, he got stuck.

The snow was legitimately more than he could jump over. I did not feel that bode well for me and my analogy from yesterday. He made it to the shelter of the chicken coop and waited for me while I fed them.

When I left, he just stood there, shivering. I told him, “You have to make it! I told everyone on the Internet that you were Farm Dog!”

He looked at me, probably thinking, “Just pick me up and I WILL make it. Even Farm Dogs get COLD.”

So I did.

I carried him back until the snow levels got lower. I set him down when he could make it and he sprinted happily toward the house, waiting for me at the door.

If I wanted to get analogous, I’d say that sometimes we need to let our Owner carry us over the rough patches until we reach the safety of home.

Or I could just straight up say, “Stay inside! It’s cold!!”

Both are true. 🙂

P.S. Riley has the perfect outline of Abe Lincoln on his right side. I think it shows up quite nicely in the featured image.


Right at 35 days before my 35th birthday, Rachael and I found out that a book we wrote about our experience making our first film “No Lost Cause,” was being returned to us by the publisher after a year of waiting for it to be printed. Instead of wallowing in our collective misery, I committed to blogging every day while I searched for ways to overcome this perceived rejection and obstacle to our goal. I currently also have about three other projects brewing at the same time, and write about the progress of each of them. This is part of that series.

Read the first entry here: https://ashleyraymerbrown.com/2015/01/23/35-days-to-35-dealing-with-rejection/

35 Days to 35: Farm Dog (9 more days)

My dog Riley is not a six pound Pom-Chi. Oh, he may look that way on the surface, but in his heart, he is a German Shepherd, or a Collie, or even possibly a Mastiff. Whatever the breed, he desperately believes himself to be a Farm Dog.

As any good Farm Dog would, he LOVES the snow. If the temperature is any kind of bearable, he wants to be outside. Sniffing, shuffling, checking on the chickens, surveying his land.

In truth, his actual favorite thing to do is for me to go outside with him. When I do, he likes to get as far away in the field as possible and then wait for me to call him. I know this. I know what my role is and I fulfull it for him. He is the star of his own action movie, and I’m the director. When he’s far enough away, I whistle and call him back.

IMG_9795

“ACTION!”
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